Never Would Have
by RangerBlack
Summary: On a lone night at Planet Express, Leela shows a lack of tact and Bender just sighs in exceptence. After all, better this, better them, then if it never would have happened, right?


It was late on Sunday night in the Planet Express building, where only the ever-psychotic Professor Farnsworth stayed as his permanent residence. However, today of all days, the company's single licensed captain was carefully inspecting the integrity of her vessel. The multitude of halogen lights poured bright white light down on her violet hair and casted the glassed ceiling in sharp contrast to the smog-cloaked darkness outside.

"Bender." The even-toned utterance carried well through the large hanger's incidental acoustically inclined design. The lone woman didn't bother to look around her to see if she was heard, she knew better. The lump in the reinforced hull's seams was not a vote of confidence to the captain; it would need to be fixed tonight before the delivery due the next day.

"She's looking worn out Leela," Bender commented blandly as he pressed forward to prod at the flaw. "She won't be around much longer you know," he murmured in a tone that almost sounded sympathetic, but it was just the dynamic reverberations of the room.

"After the end of this fiscal year we will be up-grading anyway," Leela replied calmly. "You are unusually mellow tonight Bender, is there something wrong," she asked to distract herself from the rapidly approaching retirement of her sentimentally dear ship.

"Aw, naw, nothing' wrong Leels," the manbot drawled with an unauthorized grin. "It is my anniversary," he admitted lightly as he pulled the bolt gun and welding torch from his chest cavity.

Leela rocked back on her heels in a mix of confusion and curiosity. Her one eye narrowed and her mouth pursed as she took note he had also thoughtfully brought with him a visored helmet for her to use while the welder torch burned. "Of what?"

The robot slid his bright eyes sideways to stare at the woman from over a pair of industrially tinted shades. Heat suffused the human's face and her eye squinted at the discomfort of her tactless prying. "I'm sorry; it isn't any of my business-."

"Did Fry ever tell you how we met?" Bender asked politely as he lit the torch and adjusted the flame. "About the Suicide Booth?"

Blinking in shock Leela nodded automatically in the affirmative. "Sure, well, I mean, maybe; you never know with Fry-," she finally caught up with her brains suggestions and her mouth snapped shut.

"Lighten up Captain, today I'm not as offended as usual." He lowered his built-in welding visor and Leela watched in fascination from behind her helmet's window as he turned his expertise of metals on the damaged hull. "This day, six years ago, Mom closed down the Bending units' production line. I was four years old, out of a job, obsolete, and in need of serious restoration work. I wasn't able to compute a purpose and I decided there wasn't much out there that was left for me.

"Four years ago to the day I told myself that by the end of the week I'd get in line at a Suicide Booth and get it over with. The next six days were the darkest of my life. The vary last day this little meatbag was lollygagging in front of me and I pushed him into the booth. Why not, you know? I never had any friends and the only people who would notice I was gone were the folks I owed money to, why not die with the little meatbag?"

"So," Leela breathed dry-mouthed, coughing to clear her throat she numbly handed him the bolt gun. "Why so relaxed?"

"I use this day every year to put my priories in order. I think back on the last year and consider what I've done. Not to be confused with your human sensibilities," he drawled heavily, "since it isn't about right or wrong and the usual labeling bullshit your kind is so fond of," he snorted snarkily. "I'm not rusting away somewhere; I'm under fourteen grand in debt; I've done things I've been told I couldn't do; I still plan to take over the whole world. You know the shit that gets people through the day; I've got so much more to live for then those suckers." He chucked richly as he stamped together the seam and poked at the glowingly hot metal. "None of what I look back on, or what I look forward to doing, would ever have happen if it hadn't been for Fry chancing by me. If I'll say anything on that, it is that it was damn near impossible and yet, here we are right?"

Leela lifted the visor up somberly and looked to the scar in her hand from where she'd pried the career chip out. Granted there was another one buried beneath it, but it was one she was proud of! And it wouldn't be there if it hadn't been for that chance Bender was musing on. In fact, if it hadn't been for Bender helping to keep Fry on the run, she would have never been inspired to rebel against the rules.

"We would have never met," Leela muttered absentmindedly as she rubbed at the worn and battered ring; it was the same one Bender had tried to steal from her the very first time they had met.

"Hn," Bender replied noncommittally. He would need to wait for the fix to cool and seal completely, but straightened from his crouch and sighed thoughtfully. "This ship wouldn't be so beat up," he muttered, remembering when he once almost cared for the ship's personality.

"I would have never become a pilot," she added weightily. She blinked in surprise; it had felt better to admit that she was better this way, never mind the bad spots; they just made the best times seem amazing. "We would have never known about the Professor and, whoa, Nibbler, or our alternate selves…" she whispered in awe.

"I would have never been God and met God as a result," he added flatly. "Never would have been Pharaoh. Well, that might be stretching it," he continued drolly.

"You would have never known what it was like to be a fembot or cursed with my emotional echo," she snickered as he put the tools away and slid a level stare on her with a smirk creeping across his mouth guard.

"Then I wouldn't have spent a thousand plus years as a head in the sand," he told her and watched as she turned pink and stifled her giggles. "Or found out what would happen if I became human."

Leela smiled and felt like a happy little girl as she thought back on all the fabulously fantastic moments that she had lived thanks to the hands of fate. "Never would have become a werecar though," she suggested, able to smile at the memories that came with the thought.

"Then you would have never agreed to marry the robot devil to hear Fry's concert," Bender shot back swiftly, then waiting for her reaction.

"Oh you mean when you deafened me?" she volleyed back tersely. "In that case you would have never dated Amy," she breezed, but he just grinned even wider.

"You wouldn't have had Kif's squishy offspring then, _and_ you wouldn't have slept with Brannigan."

"Those kids wouldn't have ever been adopted, never mind you were a parental nightmare," she drawled honestly. "At least they belonged to someone, if only for the day." She turned a small smile of adoration on him, she knew he still had the crayon colored portrait the kids had made for him.

"You would have been less likely to be duped into the plastic surgeon's 'help' or that one-eyed wannabe's scam."

"Well, really they taught me a lot about myself and myself esteem so I don't mind it too much now," she confessed as she and Bender mounted the stairs again to check on the seal. "You do know you would have eventually gone to Hell anyway right?" she snarked teasingly, but Bender took it in stride.

"Good thing you and Fry were there to get me out of that jamb then huh," he replied mysteriously. "Hey, not too bad if I do say, it will at least hold for a few more catastrophically insane deliveries," he crowed proudly as Leela inspected the seam for flaws.

"Nice work Bender," she praised sincerely. "Um, actually, since we are done here," she began nervously, "would you like to join me for a drink?" she asked the shiny new scar across the ship's green hull because she really didn't want to have to see his uncannily intimidating gaze.

"Hn," he hummed melodically; from this angle, he could see the outline of her panty's tiny bow that tied at her left hip under her tight pants. "Kay," he agreed smoothly. "My place or yours?"

Leela snapped upright and peered at the indolent manbot, her mind racing at light speed until he gave her a 'you-sure-you-didn't-get-that?' look. "Fry is at my place," he reminded her in a low toned voice.

"Wait, what?" she asked breathily, instantly annoyed with how she sounded and yet still too flustered to save face. Was he coming on to her?

"Relax woman," he rumbled smokily, knowing full well how he'd made that all sound. "We can't make fun of Fry if he is right there, right? It is bad karma or some shit to you humans, yeah?" he proposed seriously.

"Oh," Leela blurt out unthinkingly. "Yeah, karma."

"Unless-."

"No," she answered firmly, but Bender just smirked smugly.

"Right then, what is a horrendously embarrassing story about our dear friend Fry," he snickered conspiringly, holding open the door as she turned out the lights and standing nearby as she locked up behind them. They walked down the sidewalk a few feet, lost in thought, when suddenly a bight smile dawned on both their faces and they leaned closer as if they had a secret to share. "The worms!" They laughed and slipped around the corner together, which in retrospect, would not have happened if not for the clash of lives that changed the Futurama.


End file.
